I’ve had too much time to think lately. It’s all the driving I’ve done in the last week and a half. Sometimes it’s a truly great escape, but lately it’s been more of a curse. Especially when it ends up costing me in the range of $200 for a statute I didn’t even violate in a state I will rarely (if ever) visit again. Of course, when I drive I listen to music, and when I listen to music and drive, my mind tends to wander over all the things in my life and even some things in other people’s. As much as I hate to admit it, coming back to school is probably good for me because being busy again will give me an opportunity to shut out all those thoughts that have been constantly running through my head. It might allow me to actually make some decisions about some things in my life instead of just constantly going over the possibilities.

I’ve fallen into a very bad habit of staying up too late. Call it voluntary insomnia. I don’t feel tired when it’s time to go to bed so I stay up. But do I actually do anything? Not really. Somehow I’ve gotten really good at wasting time when I’m avoiding sleep. What is it that I’m afraid of anyway? It’s not my dreams; I usually don’t remember them anyway. It’s not that I won’t be able to sleep once I lay down in my bed; I almost always fall asleep within minutes. I think it’s the fact that I know when I wake up in the morning, everything in my life will be right there waiting for me, just where I left it. For some reason that thought hasn’t been very comforting lately. And yet, eventually my eyelids get heavy, and I can’t put off the inevitable any longer. G’nite.