I have conducted some more extensive research, and now, having consulted several people extensively and conducted much extensive…stuff…I now have a few more reasons regarding why I am so much cooler than C and D.

J: Often speaks in the third person–referring to himself as “himself” or “The J” This, alone, makes him cool. His posts are often witty and funny and completely lacking in any meaningful content. This, when researched (extensively), adds up to J Is Rules.
D: D can be referred to as “The D” or “Big D.” But this, upon further consideration, is also akin to something one might do in the…uh…commode. Yeah. That’s not cool. At all. Weak, you guys. Seriously weak. D’s posts are always “deep” and “meaningful” and…you know…have…content, and stuff. Which, inandof itself, is kinda cool, I’d admit. But, “Big D.” Come on.
C: For the next few days I will refer to C as Carmichael Thompson. I thought of that at, like, 5am last night. Oh, I didn’t go bed. Insomnia sucks. But the girls across from us are hot. So its ok. Offtopic. So Carmichael! (Or “Carmy” for short). What can I say about Carmy. His posts are always…uh…they’re…hmm…[minutes pass]…[literally]…yeah. Inbetween. Is that one word?

J’s Random Quiz/Whatever of the Insert Time Period!!!
Today’s installment will cover: guy-what-ever-single-male-in-this-entire-world-wishes-he-could-be. Wow. This is just…like…wow. J is’na worthy.

And always remember! What you think is the planet Mercury may just be a really fat guy sitting on the docks, and sticks and stones my break my bones but I’m Jesus and you aren’t.