3am to 1pm. So I have plenty of time to sit here and I was trying to think of something to occupy my time. I’m gonna try something new. A little dissection of music. We’ll see how this turns out. I make no promises. Keep in mind I’m starting this at nearly 5:30 in the morning after about 3 1/2 hours of sleep. I am surprisingly awake for the time though…

Ok, here’s how this is gonna work. I’ve included the lyrics of a song without the repeating chorus so it takes up less space. My favorite parts I’ve enclosed with ^superscript numbers. Below the lyrics, I’ll tell a little about what it means to me, how it makes me feel, what I think was intended, or pretty much whatever the hell I want 🙂

Currently Playing: Yellowcard – Back Home

¹Don’t know what I was looking for when I went home, I found me alone^1
2And sometimes I need someone to say, “You’ll be all right. What’s on your mind?”²
But the water’s shallow here and I am full of fear, and empty handed after two long years

Another starry night in Californ-i-a
I’m sure back home they’d love to see it
But they don’t know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance, before you get a chance to feel it

¹This is only partially true for me. Going home is a great chance to spend time with my family, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. Still, if my family has other things going on that don’t necessarily include me there is hardly anyone else at home that I can go hang out with. That part kinda sucks.

²I think everyone feels this way at least some of the time. I’ve got plenty of friends, but sometimes I feel like they don’t really notice when something is wrong. Then I have to wonder if they really care. And though I’m not exactly missing being in a relationship, this is one nice thing that gets taken care of automatically (or should) and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss that aspect. Anyone who knows me very well understands that if they actually say something like this to me they are likely to get a lengthy answer. I think that’s what I needed mid-semester.

³This goes right along with ² in that sometimes I don’t feel like anyone is. And again, I know everyone has those moments where they feel that way, and it’s probably not true that no one is there. Sometimes it would be nice if people would show it a little more often, though.

⁴It seems like everyone is afraid of falling out of line. So many people live their lives the way other people want them to, and they walk around all the time afraid to step on other peoples’ toes. It’s just not cool. I’m not saying you should go out of your way to piss people off (or not care at all about anything others think), but it will happen. Not everyone will like you. It’s something you have to deal with and move on. Sometimes it really does seem like people mess with others’ lives just because they have nothing better to do. How messed up is that? Unfortunately, I’ve found that when most of what I see in the world is ugliness, I stop taking notice. I do become blind to it. This place, this society will make you blind. Think about how shocking it would have been 20 years ago to see some of the things that are on TV and in the media today. When’s the last time you saw something uplifting as a major story on the news? It’s all about war and crime and poverty and hunger and all of the other twisted things that people do…and after a while it just doesn’t have the same affect. Our senses have been dulled by it all and it kinda makes me sick to think about it. Put it all behind me and I’ll be just fine. Well…we shall see.

⁵So I don’t really feel like I’m in California and everything is all bright and sunny. Times aren’t really good or bad right now, but somewhere in the middle. However, I do think that when times are good that a little rain can be a good thing. A dose of reality if you will. And I’m not talking about the “reality” they show on TV. That stuff seems so manufactured now, I can’t believe they still call it Reality TV. I guess this line has a double meaning for me too…I just like the rain sometimes. Sitting and watching it falling outside (or around me) can be really peaceful. Sometimes it can wash away a bad mood like it was nothing. Everything seems so clean and fresh when it’s over and the sun comes out again. It makes you appreciate the good times (or nice weather) just that much more.

So I’m realizing that I probably could have done the entire song line by line, but I think this will do. Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if I should do this more often by leaving comments.

Edit: I’m the kind of person who can like a song for several reasons. One is for lyrical content. Lyrics are usually just poetry, and while I don’t go looking for new poetry to read, I love it put to music. Another thing is for sound. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what the words are, it just sounds appealing. When the two go together, I’m gonna love it. Yellowcard has managed to do both in almost all of their songs, and this is no exception. I absolutely love the electric violin. At the very least, I highly recommend their latest album Ocean Avenue.

Well, I originally thought that this week would be easy because I was only working seven hours. What I neglected to consider was all the conference stuff I would have to deal with and the fact that I’m going to be gone for the second half of the next scheduling period so I would have to cram hours into the first part. So now I’m working my seven hour shift, but then tonight I’ll be at the desk again. From 3am to 1pm. It was pretty much all that was left in the first week when the last bit of scheduling came around to me. I must be crazy. I’m gonna try and go to sleep around 8pm tonight, but I really don’t think it’s going to work very well. I may be sleeping the rest of tomorrow afternoon. So if you’re around and have nothing to do, stop by the Moore Hall desk and help keep me awake!

In other news (Trenary, look what you did), I’ve been organizing my music. I’m happy to report that I have approximately 20% in good shape. Holy crap I have a lot of music. On a hunch I put www.music.com into my browser the other day. It’s nothing yet, but I have high hopes so I signed up to be notified when the site gets launched. All the other online music directories I’ve found/used kinda suck.

“…and they don’t make emoticons for times like these…” SO funny…and frighteningly accurate for some people. And you can’t deny the latest Strong Bad Email. I was gonna quote it, but I can’t get it to load. Hopefully you’ll have more luck.

I’ve kind of gotten back into an old habit the last few days…staying up way too late doing absolutely nothing worthwhile and not getting enough sleep. I’ve had other things on my mind lately, so I’ll just blame it on that. It has to stop (the staying up late).

Lydick should be back with my lunch soon. I’ll wrap things here. Still trying to get a hint out of “Girl” …Oh yeah, and this is the first post from my laptop 🙂

Currently Playing: 3 Doors Down – Away From the Sun

I’m over this
I’m tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling’s gone
There’s nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I’ve known

Except me…

Two loads in the wash means I have times to post. Today I helped check in a bunch of girls for basketball camp. It took forever. But it’s done and I don’t have to worry about it until later this week. After the check in was softball.

We were worried about having enough people, but we ended up with exactly ten. Unfortunately, we didn’t play our best today, and its hard to come back in a game when you’re down almost ten runs. We did make it interesting by pulling to within two, but lost 14-17. Our next game isn’t for two weeks.

Surprisingly, I got an email about my laptop today, including a tracking number. It should arrive on Wednesday. It’s gonna be a long three days.

Currently Playing: Something Corporate – I Woke Up in a Car

I woke up in New York City
From my sleep behind the wheel
Caught a train to Poughkeepsie
And time stood still

I finally finished with all my desk hours this week. It was something like 34 hours, which isn’t horrible, but definitely a lot for this job. I did manage to make it out to the bars Thursday night with a bunch of friends and we had a great time. Then it was more work. Anyway, since I got off work at 3pm yesterday I’ve done a lot of nothing. Mostly I’ve found some funny stuff online.

First of all, while I don’t exactly feel this way anymore, I feel it necessary to post this Mac Bashing video. It’s been around a while, I’ve seen it before, but I still laughed my ass off.

Next, for all you Harry fans: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in Fifteen Minutes. I was seriously sitting in my room alone, laughing out loud as I read this. OH MY GOD I’M MY OWN FATHER!

The thing everyone secretly wanted to do, but only one had the balls to take action. Careful, it repeats.

So I was going to post a few more things, but I’ve decided I have better things to do. Later.

Currently Playing: Trapt – Headstrong

Conclusions manifest,
your first impression’s got to be your very best
I see you’re full of shit and that’s alright,
that’s how you play I guess you get through every night,
well now that’s over,
I see your fantasy, you wanna make it a reality paved in gold,
see inside, inside of our heads yea, well now that’s over,
I see your motives inside, decisions to hide

Don’t let the pretty of picture of Goodnow (pronounced “Good no”)Hall fool you. It’s not as exciting as you might think. I feel so worthless. Boys’ State has been here since the beginning of the week and I’d be surprised if they’ve been to the desk more than 4 times in 4 days. Seriously, this conference is like a machine. I think I could be sitting in one of the lounge chairs in the lobby and be just as effective (and more comfortable). Leigh has proven that theory in West. Sometimes you even get other people to do your job for you.

I can’t decide what to make of this. On the one hand, it is slightly humorous. And yet…the thought that mom started the five-second journey with six little ones and ended with only one makes laughter seem rather insensitive. It’s sad.

Apparently I like to start posts with questions. I don’t know what’s going on. It must be the intense level of boredom over here. Let the waiting begin…

Currently Playing: Incubus – Megalomaniac

I hear you on the radio
You permeate my screen
It’s unkind but if I met you in a scissor fight
I’d cut off both your wings on principle alone
On principle alone…

Ok, so my friend Lydick just sent me this. I think it’s hilarious. They did pretty much everything but reverse the actual letters themselves, and it actually works (just be sure to type in your search backwards). Anyway, I was impressed.

Currently Playing: Nothing (I’m at work)

This seems to be a common theme with me and summer. So tonight Leigh and I were schooling Lydick and Erica almost the whole game. Then we bagged over and lost a nil and they were caught up. Well damn. The pizza was still good (so good I ate more than I should have). So far this summer I guess I’ve kinda closed myself off in my room a bit. I should get out more. Now is as good a time to start as any. Watch me go!

Random shift. I’ve slowly been coming to a realization about myself lately. I’ve mentioned it to a few people, but have yet to share it in much detail here. Some my remember my decision to make changes in my life. I’m still working on some of the goals I set out for myself, but I didn’t expect everything to change all at once.

The biggest thing I’m trying to work on is my relationships with other people. I’m trying to build up some stronger friendships again as they seem to have been suffering in general for a while now. I have been single for the longest period since my junior year of high school, but this time something is different and it seems significant. This brings me back to my realization (can’t quite call it an epiphany): I’m not looking for my next relationship. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I’m happy being single. That’s not to say I wouldn’t take an opportunity to date someone if it came my way, but I’m not searching for it or trying to make opportunities out of nothing as I have done in the past. I’m enjoying being “21 and invincible” (to quote Something Corporate) even if I know I’m not really invincible. But wouldn’t that be cool? Anyway, for now I’m just enjoying myself while I still have the option. It feels good.

Currently Playing: The Ataris – In This Diary

Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up
These are the best days of our lives
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart
And eventually you’ll finally get it right

Well, ours. We won the game 12-9 in 5 1/2 innings. It was a pretty good game. We played really good defense for the first time since I’ve been playing this season. No balls got past us in the outfield which is usually where we suffer. Somebody puts a shot past us and the bases empty…but not today. I didn’t have to run around much in the outfield either, which I was grateful for.

I had a single and a double, with a catch to end the game in left center field. It would have been more of a blowout, but they got at least 4 runs on walks. Under the rules of the league, each batter starts with a ball and a strike, so 3 balls is a walk. It’s a coed league where batters alternate male/female, so if you walk a guy to get to a girl, the guy goes to second and the girl has the choice to bat or take first base. That happened several times cause our normal pitcher wasn’t there. But we still won, so all is well. It felt good to win and know we played well.

So that was a happy addition to my day. I’m hoping it doesn’t rain so I can grill out with some people later. I’m looking forward to my steak. Until next time.

Currently Playing: Justin Hulsey – All the Way Down

I’ve seen so many things just come and go
And I’m tired of living my life like just another ghost
‘Cause what you say and what you do might as well be in the past
Well me, I think I’m gonna take a different road, I’m gonna make this dream last
And if I wake up lying face down in the ground
I hope you’ll see I tried my best all the way down

Ok, first thing’s first: we switched back to Haloscan for comments. While it’s cool that Blogger is trying to catch up to the rest of the world and have it’s own comments, they just aren’t quite up to speed yet. Unfortunately, this means that anyone who left comments in the last week or two won’t be able to find them anymore. They aren’t exactly gone, just hidden. Anyway, feel free to go back and fill in previous comments if you want, but keep commenting! It makes us feel loved.

A little about my weekend. I went home on Thursday and hung out with my family a bit. Pretty uneventful. Watched some TV I think, but I’m not remembering anything else exciting.

Friday I was supposed to go to the zoo with a friend, but she had forgotten about an appointment she had in the middle of the day so we decided to go the drive-in instead. The weather was warm (almost too warm) and luckily it decided not to rain on us. We saw Shrek 2 and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Both movies I’d already seen, but considering I saw them both for 8 bucks, it was worth it to see them again. Got home about 2:30 and slept for a few hours.

Considering I had to be up at 8am on Saturday for driving school (due to Spring Break speeding ticket), going to the drive in was not my most brilliant idea but it was fun. The defensive driving class was a big joke. The teacher was nice enough, but the content was as dull and boring than I expected. Almost more so, especially once she told us there was no test, so we didn’t really have to pay much attention anyway. The lack of sleep made it that much more difficult to stay awake for video after video of AAA dullness, and I was literally counting the minutes until 5pm when she’d let us all go. She did throw in a few 20/20 or dateline reports and some cheesy re-enactments that were mildly interesting, but they were all pretty dated so we ended up laughing at them more than actually learning anything. I think the worst thing was that when we finally started talking about laws (a little more interesting) all the 16 year olds in the back started talking so half of us couldn’t hear. They were absolutely silent during every boring video, but then when I actually cared about the topic they wouldn’t shut up! Anyway, she finally let us go slightly before 5pm and I left with my little AAA Driver Improvement Award card that will get me out of an increase in insurance (at least it better).

Saturday night I was just happy to be out of that stupid class, so I didn’t do a whole lot for most of the night. My family started watching Big Fish (good movie, but I’d already seen it), so I decided to find something else to do. Ended up going over to a friends house again to play cards. Then we watched a movie and I came home.

Got up early again to drive back for a check in for Nike Tennis Camp. There was another check in ending which kind of made it a mess to start with, but the Coach in charge is really nice and it wasn’t too big a deal. And now, I’m about to go play softball. Hopefully we’ll actually have an opponent that shows up this week.

Currently Playing: Yellowcard – Empty Apartment

It’s okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one’s around
You know that I’ll catch you when you’re falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out of your room
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you’ll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Hmm…my last two posts started with a question, so this one doesn’t. And when I started this post sometime this afternoon I actually was “on the leash” but now I’m not. That’s a sign it’s been a busy day. Haymaker Hall and all those football players were getting annoying, so when rounds were over around 10pm, I was grateful. Still, I had it easier than the two girls on duty before me so I can’t complain too much.

I had something in mind for this post to begin with, but that was hours ago and I don’t really know where I was going to go with it. I did see some interesting things online today in between Haymaker runs. First was a little old school Super Mario Brothers. I was impressed. Extraordinary feats continue with the fastest stacker of them all. That’s probably old at this point, but it’s still cool. Next, it’s that thing everyone has done at least once, but won’t admit it: taken a bathroom break. I’ve gotta try that sometime. You know This guy went out and bought a sports car the next morning just to feel like a man again. Lastly, some crazy cats. I think my cats at home do at least half that stuff on a weekly basis.

I feel like this kid looks. I’m going to bed.

Currently Playing: Crazy Guitar Lady – Super Mario Brothers 1-1 and 1-2