I’m having the hardest time putting things into words right now. There’s a lot of things on my mind that I don’t know how to explain. After about a month and a half of being less than happy, I’m finally trying to get my life back on track. I say that like it’s been a long time…I guess it really hasn’t. For some people it takes a lot longer, and I’m grateful it didn’t take me more time to commit to do something about how I was feeling. Anyway, as some people already know, about a week ago I just decided I didn’t like the way things were going. I didn’t feel like going to bed at night and I didn’t feel like getting up in the morning. I wasn’t very nice to people, I didn’t care about a lot of things I should have, and my motivation to do schoolwork was at an all-time low. Not to mention I’d had a long string of disappointments with few bright spots. I’d had enough.

I decided I was going to make things change. Some things a person can’t control, and I don’t pretend to think I can affect those things. But there are a lot of things I can change, mostly in myself. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to hold myself to this unless I made a list of goals, and I knew I’d have to actually write them out or I’d lose sight of them. This last week has been a big improvement. I started off on the wrong foot by shutting off my alarm Monday morning and sleeping straight through my 9:30 class, but things have been looking up since then. I’ve been to breakfast every day since Tuesday, something I haven’t done in a long time. I haven’t gone to bed later than 1am or had a single pop all week. I’ve done my best to be nicer to everyone in general and not let little stuff get to me. If I continue on this way, I just might make it to summer and have my much needed break from all the stress of the semester. No class + good job = free time = happier C.

Unfortunately, while I’m doing my best to improve things, there’s other *stuff* going on that’s beyond my control. Most of it doesn’t directly involve me, but that doesn’t mean I’m not affected. There are two situations in particular that have been on my mind. I just don’t know what to think. It would be nice if I could have this time to work solely on my goals and improving my own character without having to deal with anomalies in the character of others. Unfortunately that’s not the way it works, and as much as I’d like to focus just on improving myself and my relations with other people, I can’t do it. Other things happen in the world that affect me (even if it is indirectly), and I can’t just act like they don’t matter to me. It’s not in my being.

So maybe I didn’t do so bad getting everything out of my head and into this post. But let me tell you, this isn’t half of what’s swirling around in there. Ask me about it sometime. You might be surprised at what’s you find in there.

Song: Abandoned Pools – Start Over

I think my roommates got us into a prank war. Not that I’m complaining. Now I have an excuse to get involved. It started with some jingle bells. Well, I guess if you wanna go way back, it really started with a marker board at the beginning of the year. The marker board is long gone now, so we’re back to jingle bells.

Here’s the rundown. These three jingle bells somehow found their way onto our door one by one. There they remained for a good 2 or 3 weeks. One night, they were replaced with three tampons. Though we all thought it was hilarious, J felt the need to retaliate. A few days later (before he’d come up with a plan), we opened our door to find everything upside down and a few additions on the wall outside. Next, their sorority postings ran away. Over the weekend, some popcorn became mysteriously attracted to their door. Finally, this morning we woke up to this:

It says, “Don’t Mess with the BEST! Grrrrr! – Putnam 18.”

Pretty weak if you ask me.

So now we’re thinking it’s time to take this to the next level and find out who’s really the best.

Thanks to D and Haloscan, you can now tell us what you think right on the site! Just click the comments link at the end of each post and tell us how you feel.

…the moment you’ve all been waiting for: pictures! Now you can see how we spent our Spring Break. That took entirely too long to get fixed. Hopefully it won’t happen again…My favorite:

(Don’t ask me what he’s doing)

Wow, today has been a busy day for me and CE. And yet, I don’t feel like I’ve done anything else. It’s been kinda nice.

For the third time in 24 hours I’m at the desk. Three times doesn’t sound like much, but when you consider it’s for a total of 11 hours with very little to do, and nowhere to go…it’s not the greatest. Since I don’t have much to do for a change, I’m actually getting to browse the net. You can find some really interesting things if you know where to look. Try these on for size: Photoshop, Reincarnation, and a different kind of church.

Anyone curious about the meaning of my last post, email me, IM me, or call me. I’d be happy to discuss it. Also, we want feedback about what kind of cool stuff we could have on this site. Current ideas include trivia contests, a hall of fame page (with game high scores), and other stuff we think would be cool. All of this is, of course, dependent on people actually reading this site. So if you’re reading now, send me an email and let me know. Seriously.

Tomorrow I start over.

That pretty much sums it up lately. No matter what I do, I’m not getting enough sleep. It seems like most of the time I don’t have a chance to go to bed early, and then any night when I get a chance that’s when I choose to stay up late. I’m beginning to wonder why I do this to myself, but each time that thought enters my head, I remind myself I have no idea.

Note to self: putting head down on desk while at work = bad idea. It’ll get you scared awake by the most god-forsaken sound on the planet when someone goes out the elevator door five minutes later. Drunk people are starting to come home, so that should keep me entertained for the rest of my shift. Ok, some really short girl just walked in the door that I have never seen before. I guess I should pay more attention.

Song: Something Corporate – Ruthless

Have you ever been a part of something that you enjoyed just for the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment that it brought to you? Ever been a part of something that seems to be the perfect fit for you? Something that you stick with through all the crap that might go on in the middle because you truly believe you belong there and you can make a difference for yourself and others?

Have you ever had one person go out of their way to bring it all crashing down around you? I have. Tonight. I’d like to say I handled it well, but that would be a lie. I didn’t act out and do anything stupid. But I was not myself.

I actually hate this person. The thought is so totally horrible, but I truly HATE this person. If he ceased to live, I might even throw a party. I can’t even find the words to form this into a coherent post. I’m just going to stop. I hope your night was better than mine.

How else can I describe it? The opening band didn’t suck for a change. Both headlining bands opened with my favorite songs. Yellowcard – Believe and Something Corporate – Hurricane. The energy of the crowd was absolutely amazing, especially during Yellowcard’s hour set. They covered Nirvana, they played old stuff, they played new stuff. Something Corporate covered Bittersweet Symphony (The Verve) and Hey Ya (Outkast). They played 21 and Invincible for me (well, not really). Seriously. Best concert I’ve ever.