Oh yeah, that would be tomorrow. I need it. I’ve been busy. But good. Typically lack of posting means I haven’t been at the computer much, but this time it’s kinda reversed. I’ve been on my computer way too much trying to pull together this programming project. It’s not really that close to being done, but it’s due for testing in a week. Somehow I’ve still managed to have some fun though. This weekend was the first in quite a while where I was able to just relax. Although I did miss my roommates antics…

So here’s a little bit of what’s been happening since I was last heard from. I’ve had three tests and gotten scores back on four. One was pushed back due to a “breach of trust” that sparked a class discussion on the day we were supposed to take the test. It’s kind of a strange/long story so ask me if you’re interested. Anyway, in systems design, quant management, database, and LAN my scores all improved and I finally pulled out my first two A’s of the semester. Apparently I know SQL queries better than I thought.

Anyone know how to set up an ASP .net server on their computer? I’ve been wanting to try it for a while to help with testing of this system we’re building, but haven’t had time to look into it.

Amber and I saw the movie National Treasure over the weekend. It was pretty good. Maybe not as funny as The Incredibles, but very entertaining. Certain aspects of it reminded me of The Da Vinci Code.

I finally made my Christmas list. If you’re feeling so inclined, check it out on the right. I change it all the time.

Then there’s Strong Bad. He got an email virus. How unfortunate.

Edit: I can’t believe I forgot the concert! I went and saw Incubus on Thursday in Wichita. I convinced Amber and Erica to go with, and it was pretty good. The band rocked (as expected) but the crowd pretty much sucked.

Currently Playing: Jay-Z & Linkin Park – Encore/Numb

Currently Playing: Simple Plan – Welcome to My Life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
¹Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong¹
And no one understands you

Welcome to my life

¹We’ve all been here. This is the first year I’ve been at K-State that I’m starting to feel a little out of place. Like it’s time to move on. It’s not that out of place like I’m lost, just ready to move on.

²All the time. Well, not so much anymore because I have 2 roommates who are almost never both gone at the same time, but I used to do this all the time. I loved to escape to my room and turn up a good song really loud and sing at the top of my lungs. Or scream. Whatever my mood was.

³This was me middle of last semester. I mean I knew that things could be worse, but there were days when I had a hard time convincing myself that was true. I really was on the edge of breaking down. Luckily, I was able to get past it. I think it’s human nature to assume that no one could possibly understand where you’re coming from and how you’re feeling at any one given moment. I also believe that sometimes people really do have a pretty good idea of where you’re coming from. And as annoying as it might be when they try to help you, it’s important to remember that they really are just trying to help. Is that really such a terrible thing?

⁴This is a feeling I’ve felt a lot in the last few years. I think I’ve had a pretty good life overall. I haven’t been the most popular kid in school or the smartest or the most athletic or the best at anything. But it’s been good. Still, I’ve really felt like there is so much more to life. Like something is missing and I was afraid I was never going to figure out what it was. Now I know I’ve got a long ways to go before my life is over (at least I hope so), but that doesn’t mean a person can’t worry about stuff like that. I finally feel like I’ve found something more important in this life. I don’t know what I’d do without it.

⁵Unfortunately, I feel like this entirely too often. The world is such a cynical place and it can be so incredibly ugly. Just watch the news. Besides the cheesy uplifting story about puppies at the end of the newscast, when’s the last time you saw a significant story that wasn’t about tragedy, terrorism, or deceit? There is so much hate in the world it makes me sick. Even the things that are meant to bring people together (take religion for example) seems to do a great job of driving people apart. Moreover, it annoys me how fake some of the people around me can be. So many put on a face every day when they wake up, I wonder how often I actually get to see who they really are. So what if the real thing isn’t perfect? No one is. When’s the last time you let someone see who you really are?

Edit: I meant to put a little note at the bottom here that this hardly applies to me at all right now. But I’ve been there in the past, and I know people that are there now. Just because I’m not there now doesn’t mean I can’t relate.

There are some days I just want to get away from everything and focus only on the best things in life. I woke up this morning and couldn’t help but smile. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, and for some very specific reasons. I find my mind is torn.

For as long as I can really remember I haven’t been in that big of a hurry to get out of this place. I’ve enjoyed (most of) my time here, and I haven’t understood why so many people want to leave so fast. Sometimes (especially in the last few weeks) I’ve just wanted to push the giant pause button on life’s remote control and let the moment last just a little longer. Seems like some things are over before we even realize it. We’re always looking to the next thing. For once I want to think about right now and enjoy everything that comes NOW.

Lately though, I’ve also found myself for the first time wanting to move on. To leave here and start the next chapter of my life. I still have a lot of things to figure out about that next chapter, but I know I’m getting burned out on school. I mean I’m still doing all the things I need to do for classes, but I often find myself truly wishing I was somewhere else, like there are so much more important things out there.

Back to my original thought, I’m ready to escape for a little while and enjoy the best in life. Unfortunately, I’m stuck at work, and so some of the best things in life are decidedly unattainable at the moment. At least one of those best things is also in class. I guess I’ll make due with what I’ve got.

I’m listening to the album Details by Frou Frou for the second time this morning. The Van Zile desk is pretty quiet from 8am to noon, so I’m just letting the music wash over me and letting my mind wander. It’s so easy for me to get lost in the music.

As my mind wanders I’ve been wandering online as well. A few interesting things out there. Matt made an interesting observation over on his Xanga. Check out the second to last line of his latest entry.

This is just frightening(ly accurate).

Inmates with playtime to build an underground fort outside the prison fence. Just wonderful.

Ok, I just found a discussion thread about music. I haven’t gotten very far, but there were a few comments that stuck out to me.

Listen to music – don’t compare it to what is or what was. Every tune, every melody, every beat, is it’s own entity. Are there any Led Zeppelins out there? Any Jim Morrisons? Any new BBKings? Any Stevie Rays? Nope. There can only be one of anything and anyone. I love music. If you try to categorize it when you listen to it, you aren’t really listening – you are thinking too much.

Well, being a very critical person by nature (much to my wife’s annoyance), i enjoy picking apart music, going over it in my head, turning up a favorite part of a song real loud in my car nodding my head as my wife has a disgusted grimace on her face. it’s what i do. i do compare, i do criticise. BTW, who heard the newest SUM41 song. it’s a goddam carbon copy of System of a Down, to the highest degree. but i enjoy finding things like that. to me, rock music is a thinking journey, and emotional as well. without the criticism and comparisons and discussions, its difficult to share. thats why i started this thread.

Irony: a next day package just came for someone. I sign for it, then I check the name…it’s for me. Must be the third try to get me the iPod case I ordered like a month ago. Let’s see if they got it right this time.

…

Hallelujah. Third time’s a charm. Now the real question is whether or not they’ll credit me to send back the other two cases or not. Time will tell.

Ok, that’s enough for now. Didn’t realize this was getting so long. If you’re still reading, thanks. Maybe I’ll do some real work now.

I couldn’t pick between these two songs as they both seemed appropriate regarding recent events. Enjoy them both.

Currently Playing: Frou Frou – Let Go

Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
‘Cause it’s all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you’re writing a tragedy
These mess-ups
You bubble-wrap
When you’ve no idea what you’re like

It gains the more it gives
And then advances with the form
So, honey, back for more
Can’t you see that all the stuff’s essential?
Such boundless pleasure
We’ve no time for later
Now you can wait
You roll your eyes
We’ve twenty seconds to comply

Also Playing: Frou Frou – Must be Dreaming

Pay close attention
Don’t listen to me from now
George will be flying this one
And it’s anyone’s guess how he does it
This is my turn
Wrong universe
You’re taking me in full bloom
Viable
Careful with that there
See what you made me do

Must be dreaming
Oh, we’re on to something
Must be dreaming
For, I don’t fall in love like this
Must be dreaming
Oh, wish me to waking
So one day I’ll be yours
As long as I’m losing it so completely